Discussion:
Lost Weekday / Will Dockery
(too old to reply)
Will Dockery
2016-12-06 12:37:30 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Lost Weekday

I could almost swear
she told the truth to me.
I could almost hear
her whispering that she loved me.
Over my shoulder
I thought
I'm in for it now.

She was a tad overweight
but she wore it well.
Violet eyes
that charmed me
to her smoky grey spell.
Lost midnight
behind cliché
in for it now.

A case surreal
she whispered
"Follow the Eastern Star."
In the heist
I got lost
in her vampiric charm.
Baby number one
danced in the alley
in for it now.

Her magic is dependent
on her point of view.
The murder must wait
until we find
someone new.

Jiving Sister Sally
dancing in the alley.
Smoking in a
kudzu valley.
Lost weekday
behind chain link door
she's in for it now.

I'd almost think she had horns
such a witchy woman.
Invited to her back door
I felts almost like a Shaman.
In Benning Heights
her Baker charms
in for it now.

Her magic is redundant
on her point of view.
The murder must wait
until we find someone new.
The child belongs
to you know who.

-Will Dockery
Will Dockery
2016-12-08 22:00:29 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by Will Dockery
Lost Weekday
I could almost swear
she told the truth to me.
I could almost hear
her whispering that she loved me.
Over my shoulder
I thought
I'm in for it now.
She was a tad overweight
but she wore it well.
Violet eyes
that charmed me
to her smoky grey spell.
Lost midnight
behind cliché
in for it now.
A case surreal
she whispered
"Follow the Eastern Star."
In the heist
I got lost
in her vampiric charm.
Baby number one
danced in the alley
in for it now.
Her magic is dependent
on her point of view.
The murder must wait
until we find
someone new.
Jiving Sister Sally
dancing in the alley.
Smoking in a
kudzu valley.
Lost weekday
behind chain link door
she's in for it now.
I'd almost think she had horns
such a witchy woman.
Invited to her back door
I felts almost like a Shaman.
In Benning Heights
her Baker charms
in for it now.
Her magic is redundant
on her point of view.
The murder must wait
until we find someone new.
The child belongs
to you know who.
-Will Dockery
Got a 'Lost Weekend' Ray Milland alcohol touch...I'll be back after
digesting...
...and 'Dial M For murder'......

Question:

Is the mention of murder too jarring or inappropriate for poetry?

I ask because several mentions have been made of that line.

Loading...